|
On Saturday there was nearly a divorce. It was
all my fault, but I might as well tell you about it. We were composting the new
grove, and Simon was shovelling out of the trailer as I moved Sherman from tree
to tree. It was muggy, and, as usual, I could NOT stay awake. He was standing
shovelling between Sherman and the trailer – as he must sometimes – and I,
in the surging mists of near sleep, got cramp in my clutch foot. Wriggling my
toes furiously I quickly pulled on the handbrake instead of putting the gear
into neutral, and my foot came off the clutch with a pop. Sherm leaped forward
about 6 ft, and caught Simon across the top of his thighs. There was an
indignant explosion, peppered with fruity stuff relating to my heritage, and I
apologised profusely – by this time wide awake and wishing I had done the gear
thing. He had the good grace to see the funny side of the incident when he came
to join me in the cab to go and pick up another load. I did not deny any of the
insinuations which had been levelled at me.
After lunch we went up into the 1st
grove to check drippers as we hadn’t run the irrigation on that section for a
long time. They were all up the pup, and it began to rain just enough to be
irritating. Simon got out of the ute and walked back up the row doing this and
that while I sat, with engine running and fought off the warm embrace of ….
You got it! Sleep! The windows steamed up, Gigi was standing against the back
window, and, knowing how Simon loathes people who stand and watch, I decided
that I would take the ute up to where he was. I whacked Sherman into reverse,
popped the clutch and off we went. Through all the clag on the window I could
see Simon waving his arms. Too late. There was a hideous clanging thump. I had forgotten
that Sherman was wearing the trailer and it had jacknifed and dented
his mudguard severely. Simon was absolutely furious and I was mortified. He told
me in ringing tones that I was pathetic, that this was beyond a joke and I
should pull myself together and realise that I was driving a vehicle. All of
which was quite true, but I didn’t really feel like hearing it. I cooed
something along the lines of "Hush my sweet! there is no need to take on so
and make much of my inadequacies for I am hardly best pleased with my efforts’.
I was then expelled to load the trailer while he finished off. I was
heard to say to the dog as he came to join us ‘ Oh look Gigi! Here comes Jesus
Christ!’. Which gave me the giggles. I did not sleep for the rest of the
afternoon, and relations were cordial. On Sunday poor Simon took to the mudguard
with a hammer and tried to straighten it out. I was going to have a go when he
left, but he got there first.
|
